Muleskinner

Issue date: 2/21/08 Section: Opinion

Commentary: Chris Bennett [Click to enlarge]

I should start this by saying that I do not believe that alcohol is evil. I probably would have died of thirst during Prohibition or been put in jail for slurping down a golden cold one. Point blank, I like, rather love, beer.

So you can understand how confused I was two weeks ago when I read that the SGA was proposing alcohol sales at sporting events on campus. The first thing that came to my mind was "This is a bad idea."

That's right, I said it. The lover of lagers, the appreciator of ales, the celebrator of stouts (I realize that's not alliteration, but it still sounds good) thinks this idea stinks and here's why.

First off, where would it stop? From what I've read, this would apply to all sporting events on campus.

Do I really need a beer at a track meet, a soccer game or a volleyball match? When only football and baseball games come to mind, this proposition makes at least a little sense, but when you apply it to the whole spectrum of sports here at UCM, it falls short.

Secondly, there should be no beer sold at UCM sporting events until they serve beer at the bowling alley on campus. I honestly don't know how this isn't the proposal that SGA came up with. When was the last time anyone went to a bowling alley that didn't sell beer?

Now, you may be thinking "But Chris, families like to go to the bowling alley and they shouldn't have to be subjected to a bunch of drunken college kids" and my answer would be "Bingo!" College kids are not the only people who go to UCM games.

In fact, if you've been to a game, you can attest half of the crowd at a game is usually families with small children. There is no need to encourage college students to act any more riled up then they already do at such events, making for awkward situations for a mother and her cub.

Thirdly (I think that's a word), would the school have to do a bidding war, just like what happens to Coke and Pepsi on college campuses? Could you imagine the ridiculousness that would ensue if Anheuser-Busch and Miller Lite had a fiscal slugfest over the rights to serve beer on campus? This could possibly lead to advertisements of their product around our stadiums, ball games sponsored by the company and maybe even half time shows performed by the Bud girls (if we're lucky).

Lastly, I see this proposal for what it really is: a way to put bodies in seats. It's sad that most clever thing our student government can think of to increase game attendance is to sell alcohol. I realize that we don't have the most active campus in the world, but there has got to be some middle ground between selling beer and handing out stupid little team schedules to help increase attendance.

One SGA member stated that selling beer would give the games a major league type of atmosphere. I can only assume he meant there would be more drunken idiots running around, yelling at players, officials and fellow patrons, because it's not going to make the players better or allow them to have a salary, which is only real difference between college and professional games.

Collegiate sports and their atmospheres thrive on spirit and tradition, both of which lack at UCM. The University should try to fix that problem without spirits and highballs.

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